Toxic

As she walked through the door, the she could feel the negativity hanging in the air. The week had been a busy one and she was ready to just breathe, unfortunately, she knew breathing wasn't going to be on the agenda this evening.
It was becoming worse, and the worse it became, the more she just wanted to stay away from home. She had been having to leave the house early and work late to meet deadlines. Then there was the obligation to the kids activities. She had set herself up to be swollowed by a black hole but she did these things for the kids. While they missed her at home, they enjoyed every precious moment she spent with them. Lately, having an electronic device taken away or being grounded from TV wasn't punishment but rather punishment was in her not reading a bedtime story or seeing them early in the morning before she quickly ran out the door.
All of her actions were for her family. However, the patriach of the household just wanted to hold it over her head. When she woke in the morning, he was already grumbling under his breath. Each day that week before she had left for work he had choosen to raise his voice and pick an argument or throw accusations at her. Dealing with the negativity and toxic environment first thing out of bed made it hard to start the day on a good note. Another reason she decided to focus on the kids in the mornings and when she finally came home at night. Their love for her, their genuine smiles to see her and spend time, to tell her about their day, all of those things made her day a little brighter.
Unfortunately, the toxic environment wasn't affecting just her, it was taking its toll on the kids as well. The anger which she sensed always in the air was quite often taken out on them in her absense. It was so very frustrating. She was an adult, she knew it had nothing to do with her really, but the kids, the kids don't understand it has nothing at all to do with them - well mostly nothing to do with them. They were kids, there were constant aggrevations with the lack of chores being completed. Yet, from their point of view, they were expected to do the dishes, pick up, sweep, mop, take care of the animals, and take care of each other; and so often when he was home, he sat in his recliner and did nothing. They could understand when she finally sat down and zoned out, she ran ragged, and she also let things she requested of them to slide - a little.
The toxic environment, how she became to describe home to outsiders. Isn't home suppose to be the safe haven from the storm? Hell no, not her house, not now. They were both adults. There was no need to be hostile or hateful. There was a need to work through chores in a divide and conquer manner and a need to agree on discpline while they were still under the same roof. The more toxic and hateful it became the more she counted down the days til she could leave. She really thought they could co-habitate and co-parent while they worked toward the greater good of paying down debt and looking for a better opportunity for the both of them.
She had no reason to be angry with him and tried to be polite, but he made it almost impossible. He was always so angry and bitter. He was hateful and rude and disrespectful. He wanted to kids to be well behaved, respectful and honest and yet he possessed so very few of those traits. It was just become so tiresome and she was already so tired with everything else that wore her down; yet the outside issues which wore her down kept her so busy she didn't have much time to focus on the toxic.
The countdown had begun. She only hoped this time she could make progress. She dreamt of the place that was hers, where it was only her and the boys, where the air was calm and life was just a little bit easier, while not any less hectic. Soon, she felt it, soon she would have it.