A blast from the past

     Kalila had been in the back yard watching the kids play, a book in her hand, sunglasses on, sprawled on an old quilt a dear friend had given her once upon a time, soaking up a fair amount of vitamin d in the precious rays of the sunshine. The boys were getting a little restless, and looking at how far she had made it in her book and the travel of the sun in the sky, it was time to go inside. She was thinking about this as she packed up her quilt, book and other items. Thoughts of making some fresh squeezed lemonade over tall glasses of ice, enjoying some time inside on the couch watching a movie with the boys while basking in the air conditioning after a nice cool shower were running rampant inside her head. That was why it took her by such surprise when she rounded the corner to the front yard and there he stood. She closed her eyes and opened them again, thinking him nothing more than a figment of her imagination, but there he still stood. Again, she closed her eyes and rubbed them, thinking this is a dream, I must be asleep outside still on the quilt, or I've just been in the heat too long, I am hallucinating. Yet, once again when she opened them, the mirage in front of her was still there standing close to six feet tall, same dark hair and dark eyes she remembered and same crocked, cocky smile. Yes, she thought, here it is, I am losing my mind, only her mirage spoke to her and sounded very much alive and not so much like the dream she had grown accustom to hearing.

     "Hello, Kalila. How are you?" Aidan stood there, staring at her. She had aged some, but he could still see her the way she was years ago when they had been together. He was amused by the look of shock that registered across her face. He has forgotten just how easy it was to read her every thought and emotion yet found himself quite happy that after all this time apart such little things had not changed. Aidan was willing her to speak, to say something, to acknowledge him in any way except to run in the house and lock him out. He wasn't sure what he had expected from her when he showed up unannounced on her doorstep and only hoped he wouldn't regret the effort he put in making the trip. Although, if he were being honest with himself, there wasn't much effort made, more like he was behind the wheel on the way to run an errand one minute and the next he had pulled up to the curb outside of her home. She had always been magnetic to him that way, calling him home, without saying a thing and without him knowing it. As lost in his own thoughts as he was, he quickly snapped back to the present hoping she would say something and soon. About that time, two rambunctious boys came running around the corner calling to her. He realized that maybe he should have called first, or not come at all and turned to leave.

     "Boys, do me a favor, k? Clay, I need you to go ahead and jump in the shower, get changed into something comfy after. Mason, I need you to pick out a movie for us and get your stuff together so you can take a shower after Clay is done. Ok?" Kalila asked them. 

     "Yes," they answered in unison, "ok."

      She then turned back to Aidan as he had already turned away. "Are you leaving so fast?" She asked him in earnest. He had just arrived and already was trying to leave. "I needed to get the boys going, I won't have too much time to talk alone. As for your question, I am doing fine. And you, how are you?" 

      Aidan stopped dead in his tracks. He felt elated inside. This was more than he hoped for and yet there was so much to say and ask and it seemed there was so little time to do so. Again, he was kicking himself mentally for not having contacted her first and set up this time properly. He reasoned with himself that he was afraid she would refuse to see him if hadn't hadn't just shown up. He turned back to her and smiled. "No, I am not leaving, now. I was afraid I was intruding and didn't want to over step." Wow, had he really just said that? Wasn't showing up in her life at her home without invitation unannounced completely overstepping? As the mental war waged on, he tried to bring himself back to the present, and the situation at hand. "Sorry, I am overstepping. I should have called first. I am glad you are willing to talk to me. I've missed you." He blushed a little as he said this, however no one except Kalila would have known since his dark tan hid the red of the blush well, but she saw. 
     "Yes, I agree it is an intrusion, but a nice one." She responded back to him, this time it was her time to blush. What was she doing? She argued with herself. He had left her, she had moved on. She finally felt grounded and secure in herself and yet, he shows up without so much as a phone call and she can't help but have those warm feelings come rush back over her. 

Exhausted

Exhausted, but completely content. A little stressed but content. With the emotional rollercoaster I've been on this week, it's nice to feel a little more evened out. I am a little frustrated with myself at the moment. I normally can crank out a paper in no time flat. Here I am working until 2:30 am after working on this paper since about 7:30pm and I am only half way there. What the heck? Seriously. I am a little frustrated with my spouse. I work very well, especially with my creative writings if I can plug in a set of headphones, and turn on my favorite creative pandora station - Thriving Ivory. Love that station. Right now I am listening to Howie Day's Collide. Anywho. I am about to head in and get some sleep. Hope to wake early in the morning and crank out the rest of the paper while Lex is still asleep, then start on some boring household work. Also need to take the burb in and get the tires fixed finally. I do have a meeting with G's counselor in the early am. And maybe sometime tomorrow I can fit in a nap. That would be absolutely AWESOME! K...my bed is calling my name. Nothing super profound tonight, but enough to feel as though I made a step forward. I would love to get back to the habit of writing every night. We'll see. I really just miss the elegance of the words I was once able to use and the way the sentences flowed. It takes me a while to get back to that art form. Soon, maybe!
Night all!

LOST

She had wandered out to the woods. Although she had been in this area many times before, she felt turned around and lost as dusk was settling in around her. It was too dark for her to be able to make out known landmarks from other similar objects around them and she wasn't sure how she would make it back home. She was longing for home at the moment, needing the warmth within, the dry comfort of a roof over her head, and needing to feel the softness of her pajamas and warm blankets on her bed. Panic was beginning to set in as it continued to grow darker. When she had journeyed out into the woods she had never meant for this to happen. She had only meant to get some fresh air, put some space between her and the material things and give herself some time to think. She never wanted to worry anyone, just get away from everything for a few moments. Now where was she for all her thinking, alone in the cold with no way to get back to the comfort and warmth. She felt at a crossroad in her life. That crossroad was currently keeping her awake at night and cutting into her school work and social life. There was too much at stake to just take the decision lightly. One path could lead to a new exciting life, and love beyond human possibility. The other path was safe and more traveled, but meant staying close to where she was and settlling on contentment. Was it worth it to take the leap? What if she fell? The pain that would come with the fall would be too much to bare, but the exhiliaration of landing gracefully and having it all was too enticing. At the same time, neither choice came without a consequence, the fact that someone would be hurt. The risky path meant leaving her parents behind and hurting them. Taking the risky path also meant leaving behind the sweet boy whom she was mildly attracted too but was a safe bet. He would stand by her, and would never hurt her. Staying on the safe path meant pain for herself, because she would never get the chance to stretch her wings and fly. Playing it safe would mean never following her dreams, keeping it close to home, of never knowing her true potential. As well, staying on the safe path meant denying her heart of the risk of truly loving someone. Yes she cared for the other boy, and he made her feel safe, but sometimes safe wasn't enough and contentment of being cared for and caring for someone else didn't seem to hold the same meaning as a love full of passion. However, if she never made it back to the path and found her way back home, she may not have a choice either way. The temperature outside was beginning to drop and she wasn't dressed for the lower temperature. She had hoped her parents hadn't been out of town this week while she had been fighting with this decision, now there was no one at home to know how long she had been missing and send someone out to find her if she didn't show back up at the house again. Again, she tried to sit and calm herself, knowing the panic would only make it worse, but being on the verge of losing her cool from the deep set in panic rising in her chest.