Too often as we live our lives day by day, they cross the day to day life of another. Sometimes our daily lives run side by side, or sometimes we share only a short period of time; a quick glance, a short hello, an hour of conversation. Like a breath in a day, our lives cross for only a very brief moment. We then go our separate ways, each living our own life once more. Sometimes these quick breath moments with an individual might happen again sporadically over another short span of time. So short it could be likened unto a quick shower in the course of a full life. What is five minutes when looked at against the span of 85 years?
Others whose lives run parallel with ours may do so for a much longer period of time, such as summer, or maybe a school year. In the full life of an individual who has lived past the age of a midlife crisis, this time is much longer, but still so very short and bittersweet. Often it is unknown why the persons life left the course we ourselves were traveled. Others it seems follow us through out our lives, maybe not always beside us. Our lives cross and run parallel. Then our lives wander in different directions. Later, our paths meet again and yet again they will travel together for some time before wandering off into different unknowns. So on and so forth, our lives and the lives of these individuals continue.
Until our lives reach their end and we reflect back or we hear of the end of the life of such a person, we cannot be for certain which way the paths might flow. For as we are still alive and so are they, there is always chance that our lives will yet again cross, for however short or long a period of time it is deemed necessary for us, one party or the other or maybe even both, to learn what needs to be taught.
The question yet remains, is there a reason, a rhyme to what seems to be all this random chaos or is it just that, a simple act of randomness?
I ask this as I have recently been faced with some hard news, some hard choices, and some hard lessons learned. I had the honor of meeting a great person with a huge heart, a kind smile, and very blunt unconventional compliments. He was very large in stature but came off to me as nothing more than an over grown teddy bear. We spent about an hour and half sharing conversation, toasting drinks, exchanging names and phone numbers and laughing about life. It was a very enjoyable time. We kept in touch randomly for several months. Very recent, I learned he took his life. This saddens me as I felt he so much more to offer the world than he apparently felt he did. The world would be a better place if more people were willing to be as honest and yet as kind as this young man. The world would shine more if people would smile as infectiously as he did. Aside from these few small lessons that I will keep close to my heart so I know that there was a reason for his life and why it impacted mine, I can't help but wonder was there another reason. Why was I meant to meet this sweet guy? I met him. I cared enough to keep in contact, however randomly it may have been. Now, he is gone. I could not have told you his middle name, or even the name of his best friend in school. I could not tell you his favorite color or what he was drinking that night. There is so much that I did not know. I wonder, could I have made a difference? If I had reached out, if I had spent more time trying to get to know him, is there anyway this tragedy could have been avoided?
There have been many cases where I just don't know what to do, where to turn, and how to proceed forward. Am I making right choices? Am I going the direction I need to follow? Am I currently in the correct place? Am I making an effort to make the lives of those around me as pleasant as possible? Do I need to change me?
What is the reason in meeting someone for such a short while to hear their life has ended so tragic? What is the reason in finding people who were once so close to you only to find out they only wish to hurt you?
Is life nothing more than a beautiful piece of chaotic artwork much like a Jackson Pollock, carelessly thown together to make the best of it and turn out beautiful? Or is life like a beautiful picture cut into a jigsaw puzzle where all the pieces fit together for a reason?
*Dedicated to Jessie Alvin Lewis 11.16.91 - 6.27.13
