morbid.....maybe ~ Jan 6 2009

morbid.....maybe    Written: Jan 6 2009 @ 3:03 am

Current mood:contemplative

It seems whenever someone close to us dies, a loved one, a good friend, whoever they might have been to us, that we sit back and mourn the fact they are no longer a part of our lives. Although we are sad they aren't with us anymore, normally we go home with a new sense of life and living, of loving those still with us, normally.

Some other morbid freaks however wonder what will those loved ones have to say when we go. We wonder if we will be missed and if so, for how long. Will people be glad we are gone? Or will life continue as if we were never here? Who will fight over our prized possessions, or will those items we've clung so tight to over the years just end up in a pile at goodwill or the dump?

I am one of those morbid freaks. I often feel as though I could disappear tomorrow and have no one come look for me.  If I ran away, how long would it take before someone noticed? If I ran my car off in a ditch on the way home one night, how long would it take before someone realized I never came home? Am I really loved? Would I really be missed?

In another sense of disappearing, would I be that person that is worth standing up and fighting for, or would that person who said "I do" just walk away in the end? Am I good enough mother that my kids will stay with me when given the chance, or are they going to high tail it the moment the option comes open for them?

What is my place in the world? Would I be missed if I never showed up to work tomorrow? Would I be sought after if I packed my bag tonight and never looked back? Am I a person that people will remember for years to come, or am I that person they mourn for a few days and life returns to normal?

I want to be that person that is remembered. I want to be that person that is loved, by friends, by family, by my kids. I want to have people miss me when I am gone, I am just not sure if they will.

comment...

 

Robert Sullivan Ill give you one thing! "You are a very good writer"!!! And of course you would be missed! By many people i would imagine. For the short period i have know ya i like you! ALOT!!! You are fun, loving, intellegent, beautiful and im sure i can think of a many other things possitive to say about you! But i will tell you this, if you feel like you are not loved, its because your loved ones dont tell you enough, if at all! It is definately NOT YOU!!! Continue on with your great attitude, and good things will happen in your life. I PROMISE!!!