Me - Again

Dear you,

I am sincerely, deeply hurt by your recent accusations. I am not sure how you can honestly believe the hateful word vomit which spewed from you stating I am jealous of your potential success. You know deep down, as I know you know, I have always been your biggest cheerleader and have had nothing but faith in you and your ability to move mountains. I have always wished you the best and wanted nothing more than to see you succeed as that is what you wish for those who you care about and love.
You, however, sincerely hurt me even further when you told me one thing and then turn around to hurtfully throw in my face a whole other complete truth. Therefore, both scenarios cannot be true and one must be a lie. It is therefore deducted reasonably, you LIED to me. It was at the time when this became apparent that I began to withdraw from you. During this time of withdrawing, I did wait to see how long it would take before you realized exactly how bad you had hurt me. I waited to see how long it would take for you to reach out to me. During that time, I turned to prayer. I prayed to be strong. I prayed to be steadfast in my reasoning and experiment so to say. I also prayed seeking which road I should travel. I prayed and I was given an answer. It was not the answer I wanted, but it was an answer.
You did eventually reach out to me. I attempted to explain how hurt I was, and all you could do was explain how you were justified in your actions. You could seek no empathy in my feelings or even acknowledge that I had them and had the right to feel how I feel. No one person has a right to tell another person that the emotions they feel are wrong, so why do you think you can? Are you more powerful and knowing than God? I am not being snarky but sincerely would like to know why you think everyone should empathize with you and yet you do not empathize with others.
Somehow, even though I was still amazed by your lack of ability to recognize how I felt and why I may feel as I did, we did skip past some of the issues which had torn large sections in the fabric of our relationship. Skipping the issues rather than mending them was a mistake, for the fabric was still torn and still very weak.
During my prayers and the answers I received while I was hurting, it had become apparent nothing I did, no matter how hard I tried, would ever make you happy. You would always find fault in me. You would put me down, you would criticize who I am, you would find reasons to be irritated. Nothing I did, no matter how much I changed to fit your mold, I would never be good enough. The answer became apparent to me; I had to make me happy first. I had changed for a man before you; a man who now I believe you are so much similiar to, it makes me sincerely sad. I will not change who I am for another person any longer.
This inability of you to be able to put me in the box you want to keep me in, I feel that was another rip in the fabric of what was once our relationship. In doing what makes me happy, I had to stay true to who I am, and I am a giver. I love to do for other people. I love to see people smile. I did the unimaginable, I gave things to others; I gave things to you, and that angered you. I do not feel it was the actual giving of the things that angered you so much. I sincerely believe it was the inability to control me giving those things which angered you the most. Then you accused me of being unhappy for your possible future success. No, I am sorry, honey, you are completely wrong.
I am unhappy about your lying to me. I am unhappy about your accusations of me only to find you doing the same thing you accuse me of doing. I am unhappy of your wishing to control me. I am even more unhappy about the way you decided to end our friendship and our relationship, in the manner of a coward; by making so many false accusations it is almost comical.
You had a very good thing. I am not sure you realize how good your life was. You had people who would have stood by you through all the good and the bad. You have since decided to cut ties with me, and honestly, after finishing my little "Santa" task the other night, I am ok and my heart and  mind; my sould are light and unburdened by your choice. It is simply a new chapter in my book of life and lesson learned, thank you for that lesson. One of those other people who stand by you; I believe after discussions over the months that relationship is wearing thin as well and I hope you will take the time to mend it. You had so many good things; even in your darkest hours, those good things were there for you and yet you push them away, take advantage, and assume they will continue to be there anyway.
Please don't be a fool. I said it before and I will say it again. I am not sure if you have a very low emotional quota. If not, you enjoy the games, and growing up with your mother, I am sure you have learned to play them well. Which if that is the case, which are you then: a narcissist or a sociopath?
You keep telling me I am the one with a volitile personality. I have asked those who have known me very intimately for months and years; 20 + year relationships do not allow for a lot to be hidden - I am assured I do not fluctuate personalities the way you claim I do. You also told me how hostile your relationships were when we met, and yet, looking back, that is so far from the truth; why lie? Maybe it was hostile with your previous relationship; but then again, maybe you just tell everyone that so you have a valid excuse to look like the good guy.
I would have stood by you through it all. You were right,  I am loyal to a fault. Well, at least I am loyal until I realize I have been played. Damn, you played me well. That hurts like hell. But, I continue to turn to God and prayer. I have placed my burden at His feet and requested He take my pain and He has. Even more sad, like it is preached, I would likely turn the other cheek if you were to step foot back in my life. I would give you that one more chance, because I am trusting and caring and loyal.
So, Dear You, the point of this letter - to explain how you have hurt me. To explain, so maybe you will wake up before it is too late if you aren't playing games on purpose, how you are hurting those who are close, who care, and who only want the best for you. You have so much potential. I only hope you aren' t purposely being this way to play games but because for some reason deep down you are hurt and confused. Wake up, love those you have, and quit pushing people away. And know, even if I can't get past this hurt, that I still love you unconditionally. I loved you then, I love you now, and I will love you all of the tomorrows. You had my heart, but for now, I locked it away safe, but I still love you and want you to succeed and to know love, real love, unconditional love.