Raw

The night was dark and cool. She sat in the passenger seat watching the mist and rain drops gather on the windshield. As they became abundant, they would pool then with the help of gravity and the slant of the windshield they would wind their way down to toward the bottom of the windshield and the wipers. Outside the fog was starting to thicken slightly. He sat in the drivers seat beside her, quiet, too quiet. Unwillingly and unmalicious, she had lost his trust and hurt him in one fell swoop. It was a stupid careless misunderstanding, but she no longer cared to defend her position, she only wanted to make it right.
Small talk felt forced, and she was unsure what to say. He attempted to make it light hearted and began with small talk. She just wanted to touch him but was afraid of the reprecussions of what it would do or his rejection more that anything.
Finally, he told her could they be where it were possible,he would have her sitting right beside him. At this, she almost let the tears she had held in for days out, but instead she only let herself hope once again as she loosened up and adjusted in her seat to be more comfortable. He reached over and grabbed her arm, then held her hand. She leaned her chin down toward her other arm which sat between them on the center console. The conversation flowed a little freer, still focused on small talk and avoiding the topic at hand that had caused  them both pain.  She was dying inside knowing she had hurt him at all. It had never been her intent, his happiness was her only objective. She had adored who she became around him. She loved how she felt comfortable in her on skin, most days, but that night was the exception.
Eventually he leaned in and with a hand behind her head, he pulled her in as he kissed her, almost angrily on the mouth, as she went to kiss him back, he pulled back, stared at her and said "no." Again, he did it and again it was the same angry kiss, passionate, but angry, hurt, mad. She felt it in her bones and more so in her heart. She didn't dare kiss him back this time, until his kiss softened. As it softened, she felt again the pain but she felt agony, and she felt her own pain surface. Their kiss was one unlike any of the hundreds before it. There was something new to this. As they continued to kiss each other, there was  a real raw pain that could be felt with each. She felt a hunger in his body and it was matched in her own. She was hungry for his forgiveness and for his arms. She wanted to be held, caressed, coddled, and kissed as he was kissing her now, like she was his air and he had been without it for days, for that was how she felt about him. Every minute apart often felt like hours, hours felt like days, a day felt like a weeks, and she couldn't even imagine if they had to spend a week apart, how that would feel.
They moved closer, yet no matter how close, the distance was still too much. She slid into the back seat and he followed her. They laid, side by side, on the seat, he was almost over her, and he craddled the back of her head as he kissed her in such a way that each kiss left her breathless and yet needing the next in order to breath. She tried to convey with each kiss, the raw emotion she felt, how her heart was his along with her soul if he wanted it. She had known she loved him, and being back in his presences in solitude after the situation had confirmed that her heart was his. She had been in denial for a while but there was no point denying it now.
The rain continued on the windows outside, yet all she could hear was the pounding of her heart. All she could see was him and his eyes, those eyes that could make her heart skip a beat and her breath catch with a simple look. He didn't believe her about it anymore of course, but it was true. She could lose herself in his eyes.
His hands were warm and kind and gentle. He continued to cradle her and her head, to hold her close to him. The heat from his body was inviting and they fit together like puzzle pieces. Each touch, each kiss, each look, was full of raw emotion and open thoughts and a need for one another.
She still reflects back on the perfect night. She wonders if there will ever be a night like that in her future. She would give anything to go back to that point in time and be held like that, to be kissed with such raw passion, to be starred at through eyes that appeared to scream of love even if it was denied that was the intent.She knew her eyes were saying she loved him, and to this day, she would tell him, if it weren't for the knowledge that he would still reject that love. She will keep those secrets to herself and remember the details as if some long lost dream she was woken from too soon.